_square_md.jpg)
The starting point for this post was the Seminar ‘Marrying out’ for love: women’s narratives of polygyny and alternative marriage choices in contemporary Senegal’. Polygyny in Senegal is described as a characteristic of unchanging patriarchal traditions among the Muslim communities. Extended values, large family size, learning how to share among children, and generosity underpin the continuation of polygamous behaviours. Kringelbach’s research shows another perspective, that “women’s increasingly common choice to ‘marry out’ is explicitly linked, in many cases, to painful experiences of living with polygamy.”
Although, polygamy seems to be a rather distant reality, I was interested by this practice, which seems so far removed from my own. Trying to dig a bit further, an unexpected fact came to my hands, through a documentary on channel 4 regarding polygamy in UK: ‘The Men with many wives’. This documentary showed a reality that is challenging British society, where British Muslim men practice polygamy even when is forbidden under British law; it is, however, allowed under Islamic marital law. It is estimated that there may be 20,000 polygamous marriages in Britain. Given the clear demand for such marriages an agency to facilitate them was set up. The agency targeted successful men, capable of handling two or three wives without a problem as well as divorced women or widows, often with children. Women going into polygamy were often looking for security. For men sexual motives also played a role.
Migration into the UK has clearly contributed to the rise of polygamy, but we are not yet sure to what extent this practice will affect our population or demographics. Migrations and the possibility of multiple residence locations might open the window for new opportunities of multiple partners or polygamous relationships. The non-recognition of foreigners’ marriages could also contribute to an increase in polygamy.
Men, women and children’s narratives in polygamous families come full of ethical and emotional values in a diverse ways. On the one hand, men in polygamous marriages talked about generosity, and increasing the family, as the main values that support their marriage choices. On the other hand, women in polygamous marriage, when asked about the benefits of the relationship, mentioned having more time for themselves, a truthful husband who tells them about his desire for other women, and how a man who has been married is perhaps a better husband.
Of course there is a less positive side to polygamous marriages too. Women’s narratives highlighted loneliness, little time together as a couple (sharing time with other family), the feeling of being a single parent, and money issues. Men emphasized fairness and justice as well as the difficulty of giving the same amount of their time to each of their wives as the greatest difficulty. Also, the ideal of one big family is not always true, and the difficulty of brothers and sisters from different mothers spending time together is strong. Children mentioned that the lack of money was a tension, as well as the sometimes negative way their friends saw their family structure.
The complexity of issues at play in understanding changing family practices among the Muslim community in the UK should not be underestimated. It is a challenging research field that has been neglected. Thus, further research is needed and I look forward to reading it.
About the Author:
Cláudia Azevedo is a Visiting Fellow at the Oxford Institute of Population Ageing and the Research Officer for LARNA (Latin American Research Network on Ageing. Claudia is PhD student from Porto University, Portugal
Opinions of the blogger is their own and not endorsed by the Institute
Comments Welcome: We welcome your comments on this or any of the Institute's blog posts. Please feel free to email comments to be posted on your behalf to administrator@ageing.ox.ac.uk or use the Disqus facility linked below.
